Today, was easily one of the best days of my life again. 

It was one of the first days in lots of weeks that I was off from teaching crossfit.

My sister knocked (she used to barge in before lol) and I said "come in"! She still had her fluffy purple winter coat on and I hugged her around the shoulders and she hugged me in the middle.  She hugged me back. "Hey Edy," in a calm voice. 

She made herself comfortable on the couch. I gave her a cup of tea, like I always do when she visit me.

The house felt warm. 

Andres was there. He had a dark green shirt that looked good on him. He is tall and he did his hair nice. He had a buisness meeting with norita at 4:30 pm (the time I usually am already at or supposed to be at the class previous to my crossfit class; to know what movement's / what's going that day).

"Hey Nora," and he embraced her. 

He went to hug me but then he playfully punched me and then ran away before I could retaliate. and then I caught up to him and we both laugh. He puts things in the chips on the top shelf just to tease me. And I punch him in the stomach (sooftly kindof ) so he has to stop holding the chips over my head and I have to jump for it! 

Man I love chips...I really should eat more vegetable sticks...anyways. 

I miss the moments-next to the people I love...trying to make ends meet. Trying to get rich.

Of course I want to have stable income. But the biggest blessings in my life has been being the younger sister of Andres Felipe De Arco, the big sister/socia/& best friend of Nora Graciela De Arco, being la hija mimada de Edinson De Arco, and to have the priviledge of being una de las lindas rosas en el jardin de Soraya De Arco Montaño. My mom, apart from Christ, is my biggest confidente. Norita too, Papi too, and Andres said, "well, you know you are a priority for me) and is....so quiet at times, but he is the one that sets the atmosphere with music and laugher. When I get to listen to him it is a priviledge he usually talks very con la voz por dentro and his low mumbling is hard to hear in the back seat of the car or during one of his random monologues. But I listen.  He is caring and he respects women. Is one of the things I love the most about him. Papi too. Papi siempre es un ejemplo de persona de fe y respeto pa seguir. He is very gentle. All of them. My mom is a bit more "let me set a stern tone," and we need that. At the same time she is a sweetheart. And she is not boastful. And she has loong abundant hair. Norita is silly and is unaware of her beauty in her soul, her style, and ways. 

I have a lot of my extended family blocked. That's a fact. They get on my nerves, Lord forgive me and allow me to have no type of strife. They don't mean well at times, but forgive them father because they don't know the error of their ways. And I also ask for forgiveness because the way I resent people who mistreat me or my family might as well be a life sentence of grudges if it wasn't for you mercifully showing me I can't-and shouldn't live that way.

Anyways, my favorite part of today was just laying in a triangle. My two older siblings slumped on either side of the couch....and me laying in the big cozy body pillow/couch my brother bought. 

My sister layed a warm blanket on me and I got to lsiten to their soft voices in the background conversing. Their laughter, the calm. We are together. 

I feel bashful to say this but I only woke up from my nap to make sure my sister didn't eat all of the orange mochi icecream my brother offered her. Nora said I was squinting with red eyes kinda glaring. Poor Andres was like "What? What happened?" I was like, "Nora, don't eat all the mochi icecream," And she said, "Edy! I'm noot!" and she couldn't stop laughing. I reached for one and ate it under the blanket which only made her laugh more. My brother insisted she eat more iceceam and food even though she ate before. He likes it when she is here even though he never say that exactly out loud. He just says "you live here," I for one am grateful for my cuñado who provides housing for them so I don't have to share a one bed one bath anymore and get kicked in the face in my sleep. Still laughing with my sister and hugging her legs close until we fall asleep talking about our worries and aspirations is one of the fondest memories for me.

I am the accountability person in the group. My job is very important.  Rn I am listening to bachata and salsa. Bc my brother is here. 

Finding joy in the present is what makes life beautiful. I surrendor my desire to be home in the small town that accepted me back home. The small town I desire to be in does not even  have filtered drinkable tap water like in the US. It's unsafe to drink. It has the people, style, and culture that represents part of me though. 

I can't with the family fights, and I don't have $700 to fly in cash yet on top of rent...but my tia Dilsa said confide in God he knows our needs. I know he knows me. So I hope I suck up ruining my credit and go see my beloved family. It's hard to trust though...that's it! It's fear holding me back...I need to go see my Tio Ramon who just got surgery for stomach cancer. Who know's if I'll get another chance? But if I was a mom it'd be a no brainer to go see my sick kid. But since I am in the not fully matured adult stage...I feel panic seeing all my '"non-money" go down the drain. But money isn't my priority. Family is. I work well. God will provide, and see me through.

I guess, God guide me on being a good steward of my money. You more than anyone understand the panic I feel about not having a home, and missing my friends back home, and perdiendome los momentos because of strife. Please open my mind to things above. Allow me to rest and put my financial future in your ways and your will. You say debt is bad, but how else am I able to get to work without gas or eat every day? Not talking back, it's a serious question. Please God I don't know what to do. And last year and the year befoe I missed the moments that mattered to me most making it barely with jobs that don't make financial sense. Father, mi vida you tell me not to worry so lead me so I know what to do and what not to do.

We have our fights; but we always try to understand each other. <3

Comment below who & what makes you feel Present? How are you a good steward and what obstacles are you jumping over?